Marriage

Marriage in Canada in current-year is when 2 people get together and decide they don't have enough laws grinding them down. So they get into this legal contract where even more laws now apply to them. This is similar to,

• WSIB regulations and workplace safety laws don't apply to you if you don't have employees.
• You aren't liable for payroll taxes, if you just don't have employees.
• Car insurance/maintenance regulations/taxes don't apply to you if you just don't drive and don't own a car.

It's the same thing with marriage. Marital property rules, alimony, and other regulations don't apply to you if you don't get married. Those hooks aren't in your life unless you sign on the dotted line. Or if you are common-law (because the government is always trying to get their hooks into you).

Problem

The problem is when people say "till death do we part", and then say "lol, just kidding, kthxbye". Then your entire life gets blown up. Then you notice the hooks reeling you in. There's a few different kinds of relationships:

1. Those that never make it to marriage.
   • One-night stands,
   • Summer flings. Wow, I'm old
   • Hookups. Whatever the hell that means
   • Situationships. Pump-and-dumps, basically.
   • 1.5 year relationships. I suppose this is a long-term relationship these days
2. Of those that make it to marriage or common-law, some end up in divorce. So 40%-ish of marriages.
3. Of those that haven't divorced yet, marriages that are on the brink of divorce.
4. Of those not on the brink, you have marriages that are unhappy.
5. Of those that are not unhappy, we have marriages that are "meh".
6. Finally, we have marriages where both spouses are in the space of "Booyah! Marriage is awesome! Hey everybody, you should do this too!". So maybe 5% of the marriages.

Group-6 is a win. That's the win-condition. They've walked out of Plato's cave, seen the sky and the grass and the trees, and now they want others to come outside and enjoy life too.

Groups 1-5 have failed. They've wasted their MEAT (money, energy, attention, time), and the best they can get is "meh". You can do "meh" on your own; you don't need to have all these legal hooks in you for "meh".

When a marriage ends, it isn't like you have 2-4 roommates and one of them leaves for another city. A divorce blows up your life. The government doesn't force you to give half your net worth to your roommate. The government doesn't force you to pay alimony to an ex-roommate for the next 5-20 years. Your wages don't get garnished because a roommate moved out. When it's a marriage that ends, all those hooks come into play and rip your life apart.

That's a pretty steep price for "meh".

For a while, prenups were used, but then the "family" courts started throwing them out. Nothing can be allowed to get in the way of the courts getting a cut of the alimony payments. That's right; alimony is a money-maker for them. The meta-game has changed, and courts have adjusted to prenups.

The current meta involves being poor and having nothing to your name, like Achraf Hakimi. This bro paid nothing in divorce, unlike Michael Latner, who had to pay alimony to a woman with who he didn't marry, didn't cohabitate (live together), and didn't have children with. Ontario "family" courts still said Latner should pay.

Average yearly spousal support payments are over $20,000 in Massachusetts. That money could be used to pay for very nice vacations every year. I'm sure Canadian alimony isn't all that different either.

Solution

Canada (and the West in general) does not have a culture of stable and lifelong marriages. Do not marry. Do not cohabitate. Do as AaronClarey says.

Don't let these legal hooks get a grip into your life. Divorce is not worth it. The best way to not get into a skydiving accident is to not go skydiving. And the best way to not get divorced is to not get married, or common law.